One Cheap Shot Deserves Several Others

The Villian of the Day is Congresswoman Jean Schmidt (R-OH) who stood up on the floor of the House of Representatives last night and called Congressman John Murtha (D-PA) a "coward." This despite Murtha's two Purple Hearts and Bronze Star earned in Vietnam.

The high road would be to remark that dissent is patriotic. The high road would be to remark that Schmidt's cheap shot is eerily reminiscent of comments made about former Georgia Senator Max Clelland who was called a coward even after sacrificing both legs in Vietnam. Or that it is eerily reminiscent of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth who also called John Kerry a coward. The high road would even be to point out that opposition to the War of the Iraqalypce has been active and passionate since before the war started in March of 2003 and was declared a Mission Accomplished in like May of 2003 or something!

The low road, however, yields such tantalizing observations about Jean Schmidt:

1. Where'd you get that star-spangled suit Jean Schmidt? Porter Wagonner's garage sale? Let me guess, is there an American Eagle stitched on the back of it?

2. Who the hell wears a scrunchie in their hair while making a speech on the floor of Congress? A scrunchie! Did she lose her banana clip? Could ya be a little more white trash?

3. And your "cut and run" remark. Why are all you Republicans using "cut and run" so much? Do you think it will be easier for your die-hard supporters to remember because it sounds so much like "Git-R-Done"?

4. And Jean, you represent the city of Cincinatti. Do you worry when you say crazy things on national television that you might be accused of being a little Cincinutty?

5. And who was the Jarhead, hoo-ah, hero who wrote the email you were reading? Why isn't he disarming a bomb or training an Iraqi soldier rather than pounding out vitriolic emails? Maybe he can be one of the first 20,000 Home By the Holidays since whatever work he was sent over there to do doesn't seem too time consuming.

6. Clue in Jean. You people have the White House, the House of Representatives, and the Senate. You're in charge! You're doing a HORRIBLE JOB! We Democrats can't do a thing to stop you but we are going to mock you, laugh at you, undermine you, embarrass you, hurt your feelings, boo you, and contradict you. It's what makes us patriots!